One Practice That Frees You from Outdated Behaviors

Because what used to protect you is now just keeping you stuck

You didn’t ask, but may I tell you something?

I think you already know what your “problem” is.

Because you’ve put in some work. And through your self-exploration, you recognize that you engage in behaviors that prevent you from living your desired life. That keep you perpetually misaligned with what you seek.

Here’s something else I think: Secretly, this is what you want.

Because these behaviors tether you to an outdated version of yourself that you believe still defines you in a meaningful way. Or, at the very least, a version you must pay homage to.

And through that umbilical cord, you find a twisted sort of solace.

After all, this behavior-induced suffering feels safe. It places you deep inside a terrifying but familiar limbo. A void where you can float indefinitely between who you were and who you want to be.

I get it. You feel forced to make an impossible choice between these versions, so you’ve decided not to choose at all. Except to persist with what’s clearly not working.

I’ve been where you are. Made the mistakes. Chased my own tail for decades.

And I’m desperate to tell you this: There is no “choice” you’re forced to make here.

Let it go.

There is only integration.

Why Integration is Your Key to Moving Forward

Your mind loves to perceive the world through a black-and-white lens. Either-or. This-or-that. Good-or-bad.

It’s limiting, which is the lens’s purpose.

Therefore, when looking through this lens, it’s easy to believe that each of your versions—past, present, and future—are separate. Three distinct entities, stamped in time, that must either be rejected, accepted, or desired.

But the ultimate reality—the milieu in which you function—is a kaleidoscope. You are a wavelength within a spectrum of light. A fluid, ever-changing timeline. And only milliseconds separate who you think you are now from who you were and who you’re becoming.

From this perspective, it’s clear that your past, present, and future aren’t fixed entities you must choose to move through, remain in, or aspire toward.

Instead, you can give yourself permission to share space with all your versions simultaneously, folding in their collective wisdom, and allowing them to coexist. Unifying them into you, the one “I am,” as Rupert Spira says.

By granting your past the grace to inform your present, you also define your future. One that’s aligned with who you’re becoming, instead of tethered to a version that no longer serves who you are.

Here’s what works for me.

A Meditation for Bridging the Past, Present, and Future You

Seat yourself in a comfortable position. Relax, drop your shoulders, close your eyes, and breathe normally for a few seconds.

Then, take three deep breaths. With each inhale, picture pure, white light entering and glowing inside your body, and with each exhale, imagine dark, heavy energy leaving your body.

Return your breathing to normal.

Step 1: Honor your past self

Concentrate on your heart space and imagine your younger self standing before you.

With each inhale, draw in gratitude for the experiences that shaped you. With each exhale, release any judgment or regret about past choices.

Silently acknowledge: "Thank you, past self, for every step that brought me here."

Notice how your old self's courage and resilience live within your current version. Give forgiveness and appreciation your permission to well up inside you.

Step 2: Embrace your present self

Shift your awareness to the present moment. Feel your body’s weight and how it takes up space in the world.

With each inhale, breathe in acceptance of who you are. With each exhale, release the need to be anyone else.

Silently affirm: "I am here, I am enough, I am becoming."

Notice the vibrance and potential that exists in the eternal present moment. Give yourself permission to remain grateful for the millions of miracles surrounding you every second.

Step 3: Welcome your future self

Perceive your future self, imagining they embody all the qualities you seek to experience.

With each inhale, accept the energy and wisdom of who you're becoming. With each exhale, release any fears or doubts about your path forward.

Silently say to your future self: "I align my choices with my highest potential."

Feel your future self's presence as a gentle, encouraging guide, and trust that every breath moves you toward this evolution.

Step 4: Concluding the 3-Self Integration

Repeat the three deep breaths from the beginning of this meditation.

Then, place both hands on your heart and silently declare: "I am whole across time."

Feel all three versions of yourself as one continuous, flowing essence.

When you’re ready, return your awareness to the present moment and open your eyes.

All of You is Welcome Here

You don't need to choose between your past, present, and future selves. The person you're meant to become is already here, scattered across time, waiting for you to integrate its pieces.

You need to choose yourself.

All of you.

Now.

And it begins by simply pausing and breathing.