Congratulations!
You recognize that you are your own worst enemy.
With this understanding, though, it’s tempting to hyper-focus on the many ways you manufacture your suffering and, therefore, become blind to the bountiful garden revealed by mindfulness.
The good news? When you catch yourself only crying and not also experiencing the immense joy that awareness brings, this is a perfect opportunity to mindfully step back and fertilize your “spiritual mulch.”
How can you accomplish this?
3 Essential Reminders About Joyful Healing
Joy is about making room for beauty, even amidst the chaos.
Reminder 1: Joy Isn’t a Destination
“Joy and happiness aren’t destinations you reach; they are foundational parts of the path itself.”
Focusing on your pain can bring immense awareness.
However, obsessive focus can also narrow your vision and lead to a whole new kind of suffering.
Instead, you must constantly remind yourself that healing should open you up, not consume you. And you can do this as often as you like by remembering that joy and happiness aren’t destinations you reach; they are foundational parts of the path itself.
Therefore, you can be joyful and address your suffering at the same time.
Reminder 2: Joy Doesn’t Deny Pain
“Mindfulness invites you to connect, laugh, and play with the millions of mundane miracles surrounding you each and every moment.”
When you open yourself to joy along the path, you don’t reject your pain. Instead, you restore your capacity to compassionately explore it.
Thus, you continuously reconnect yourself to life, which is the whole purpose of healing in the first place.
You don’t have to shrink into endless cycles of introspection to grow. Mindfulness invites you to look outward, too—and connect with the millions of mundane miracles surrounding you each and every moment.
Not later. Now.
Reminder 3: Joy Isn’t a Reward for Healing
“Your aliveness is waiting for your permission.”
Joy is a powerful healing force. It softens your pain and reminds you why you’re growing in the first place.
Therefore, waiting until you’re “healed enough” to enjoy life prevents the very thing you’re trying to achieve.
Sure, healing is vital. So is dancing, laughing, wandering, and doing things just because.
Your aliveness isn’t waiting for closure.
It’s waiting for your permission.
Here’s how.
4 Mindful Methods for Returning to Joy
1. Using Your Breath as a Joyful Anchor
When you catch yourself spiraling into over-analysis or self-judgment, place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly and take three slow, conscious breaths.
As you breathe, remind yourself: this moment is enough. And it contains more joy than you could possibly imagine.
Then, expand your awareness and notice external things that feel steady, warm, and alive.
These are your anchors to joyful presence.
2. Growing Your Joy by Shrinking Your Perspective
Remembering joy frequently occurs in micro-bursts versus grand, dramatic gestures.
Try setting 30-second reminders throughout the day to consciously seek joyful beauty in the mundane and allow it to touch your core.
Sip your drink slowly and savor its sensations.
Watch light shift across the wall, and marvel at its artistry.
Feel the texture of fabric against your skin and be thankful for its softness.
3. Creating Joyful Rituals
Similarly, create a small daily ritual that serves no purpose other than to reconnect you with joy.
Light incense. Dance to one song. Make something with your hands.
These kinds of rituals tell your nervous system that not everything is a problem to solve.
Some things are just for the joy of it.
4. Replacing Self-Improvement with Self-Acquaintance
When you notice yourself trying to fix your mood or switch the “movie” running through your mind, try shifting into curiosity instead of maintaining resistance.
Ask: What part of me is speaking right now? Can I listen without trying to change it?
Joy blooms when you feel safe to exist as you are.
Joy is a Seed Once Sown that Never Dies
When you become so absorbed in healing that you treat it as a problem to solve, you miss the joy of being able to heal in the first place—not to mention the lush vibrance of your entire life’s “garden.”
Like a battery pack, joy gives you the energy to cultivate and water your garden, while also holding space for your suffering and the lessons it can teach.
The bottom line is that joy is always here, waiting for you.
May you take time each day to till your soil, plant seeds, and delight in everything that blooms in the present moment.
Thank you, Derek, for sharing those great practices to which I would add gratitude: sitting with something we are grateful for from our favorite T-shirt to the roof upon our heads instantly fills you with joy. My actual mantra is « Follow the joy » so your post totally resonates with me, also because I wrote a series about alignment on my Substack and, of course, one post is about joy. Lots of love.
Sometimes, I remember joy by opening my perspective.
By realizing how large this world is and yet how I can influence it in a way that's meaningful.