The Role of Discipline in Mindfulness — And Why It Has Nothing to Do with Willpower
The neuroscience of coming back to yourself, one gentle return at a time.
This article is brought to you through a collaboration with Camilo Zambrano, who writes about mindfully returning to what matters most, with clarity and self-trust.
We believe that mindfulness and discipline aren’t separate, but are instead different expressions of the same commitment: to come back to yourself, even when it’s hard.
What is the role of discipline in mindfulness?
We like to treat mindfulness as something soft. A mental break. A way to ease tension. But mindfulness isn’t a break from life, it’s a practice of showing up for it. And like every meaningful practice, it demands discipline.
Not discipline as in willpower. Not discipline in the sense of controlling your mind. Discipline in the truest sense: the ability to return.
Mindfulness and discipline aren’t separate. You can’t develop presence without choosing, again and again, to be present. Mindfulness isn’t a switch you flip. It’s a capacity you build by coming back.
Presence grows with practice. Practice requires discipline. And the kind of discipline that works has nothing to do with forcing your way through.
The Discipline of a Student
We’ve been sold a rigid idea of discipline: all force, no flexibility. Sit still. Focus harder. Control your attention. The cultural narrative treats mindfulness like a test of endurance. But that’s not how it works.
Discipline, at its root, means learning. The word comes from disciplina, meaning instruction, and discipulus, meaning student. Discipline isn’t about applying pressure. It’s about being willing to stay in the learning.
Mindfulness asks you to become a student of yourself. To notice your patterns, to pay attention to your reactions, to catch the drift when your mind wanders. And when you do drift — because you will — to return. Gently. Without punishment.
The act of coming back is the heart of mindful practice. You don’t learn presence by getting it right once. You learn by returning every time it slips.
Self-Awareness Begins with the Return
There’s a loop at the core of this. You can’t grow self-awareness without being present. You won’t stay present without noticing when you’ve left.
This is why discipline matters.
Discipline isn’t a matter of holding on. It’s the choice to return. Each time you do, you’re reinforcing two things at once: the habit of mindfulness and the mindset of discipline.
That’s the essence of the framework I call Adaptable Discipline. It rests on four elements: Mindset, Purpose, Tools, and Metrics. They don’t just help you build habits, they help you return to them.
Mindset reshapes how you approach the process. Not as something to conquer but as something you study. It grounds you in self-awareness, adaptability, responsibility, and self-compassion — four traits that make the return possible without falling into blame or force.
Purpose connects you to your reason. It keeps you anchored when motivation fades. You’re not showing up because you feel like it. You’re showing up because it matters to you.
Tools make it easier to show up consistently. Whether it’s a short breathing practice, a morning check-in, or a reminder that fits your rhythm, the right tools don’t push you, they help you come back when you need to.
Metrics help you notice what’s changing. Not in the form of a score. Not as proof of success. Metrics help you recognize your patterns. Especially how quickly you return after drifting, a practice I call comeback speed™.
But this isn’t a theory about habits. This is about how your brain works.
How Mindfulness Changes Your Brain — And How Discipline Makes It Stick
Every time you bring your attention back, you’re changing your brain. Not metaphorically — structurally. The act of returning activates the neural pathways tied to focus, emotional regulation, and conscious decision-making. Over time, those circuits strengthen, especially in the prefrontal cortex. You don’t build discipline by forcing attention. You build it by practicing the return until it becomes second nature.
Purpose sharpens this effect. When your actions are tied to a reason that matters, your brain engages its reward system. Dopamine pathways light up in response to meaningful action. You’re not just white-knuckling your way through. You’re building a loop where the return feels worth it. Purpose fuels the desire to show up, even when it would be easier not to.
And the tools you choose can either work with your brain — or against it. If you struggle with executive function, using rigid structures makes everything harder. However, when you align your tools with how you naturally operate, you reduce resistance. You reduce the friction between intention and action. The right tools don’t make the practice softer. They make it sustainable.
Then there’s the role of measuring your comeback speed. Not as a way to judge yourself, but as a way to see your patterns clearly. Every successful return reinforces the circuits responsible for habit formation and resilience. Over time, your brain learns that drifting isn’t a failure, and coming back is always possible. That recognition alone can change how you respond to setbacks in every area of your life.
Mindfulness, supported by Adaptable Discipline, isn’t about controlling your mind. It’s about training it to come back. Over and over. With less friction. With more clarity. With a steady sense that you’re not chasing perfection — you’re learning how to return.
Mindfulness as Practice, Not Performance
Mindfulness feels hard because it goes against the grain of everything we’re taught. You’ll drift. You’ll forget. You’ll break the streak. That isn’t the problem. The problem is when you believe drifting means you’ve failed.
The practice of mindfulness is the practice of returning.
You come back. You come back again. You do it when it’s easy. You do it when it’s messy. You do it because you’re willing to learn, not because you’re trying to win.
Discipline doesn’t mean staying on track forever. It means building the kind of relationship with yourself where coming back becomes natural.
And mindfulness is one of the strongest ways to build that relationship, one return at a time.
I have some reflections on this post that I’d like to share. Instead of reading it all now, I chose to download it to my Kindle, as I’ve been immersing myself in content lately, almost like a snake spirit animal 🐍—devouring information without much discernment. I’ve noticed that this approach isn’t always leading to deeper understanding. I feel that being present as I read would honor both my thought process your original intentions. 🙏
Lately, I’ve been experiencing a bit of overwhelm from the sheer volume of content out there. This has prompted me to consider how I can incorporate mindfulness principles into my routine to help slow down. I like to refer to this as my ‘slow movement’ on Substack—essentially, an inner revolution that I believe requires a certain level of discipline.
Yet, I wonder about the relationship between discipline and mindfulness. For some people, the term “discipline” can have negative connotations. Personally, I resonate with the idea that mindfulness and discipline can complement each other, but I find it triggering to think of discipline as something “I must master!” I envision an instructor demanding compliance—“You will learn to meditate! You will practice mindfulness, or else!” That feels misaligned with how I want to engage with these practices.
I do best when I have the freedom to choose how to incorporate any practice into my life. My healthcare providers have learned that about me — especially my dentist! Meditation is another one of those things — having the flexibility to decide what to do, when to do it, and how. This sense of autonomy feels in contrast to traditional notions of discipline. I feel manner survivors have similar thoughts especially if they grew up in authoritarian households. I’m finding I can embrace flexibility without sacrificing progress. It might be slower — but, I'm okay with that. I believe that if I can find ways to weave mindfulness naturally into the flow of my day, I might better embody this concept.
Thank you for the opportunity to reflect on various aspects of mindfulness. I wish you both all the best with your publications! ☀️