My Fellow Americans: I’m Not Depressed, I’m Terrified

A compassionate plea to those I love, respect, and cherish

“Checking in on you,” my buddy texted.

“You typically don’t post about politics, especially three times in a week. I know that when you’re depressed, you fixate on negativity and spiral out. Just wanted to make sure you’re being mindful,” he said.

I’m lucky.

I have a lot of beautiful humans like this in my life. People whose love, compassion, support, respect, and presence are crucial to what I’d consider a happy existence.

But I’m struggling.

Because I’m trying to balance who I know these people are at their core with the reality that they not only voted for the current administration, but they’re also cheering for the immense pain it’s causing those they perceive as “enemies.”

The easiest thing to do? Recoil in horror, frustration, and disbelief. To put up walls, tune out the chaos, remain siloed, and protect my mental health at all costs.

But in the face of the ongoing (and amplifying) barbarity, I believe that to remain silent, or at the very least, inactive, is a moral failure of the highest degree.

Instead of Loving Others, We Love Our Beliefs

If there’s anything I can do to help, it’s through writing. Specifically, writing to understand.

So, I’ve reached out to pretty much anyone who will tolerate me and asked the same question: “How can Americans morally defend this administration?”

Few have engaged.

And in my experience, the general lack of response rests on two reasons: First, most of us haven’t sufficiently peeked under our “psychological hood” to recognize how to respond to this question and are therefore ill-equipped to weigh in.

Second, even if someone is willing to engage, it then places them in the unenviable position of defending the indefensible.

Therefore, among those who have responded, their reactions overwhelmingly follow one of two lines of logic:

1. To deny every accusation against the administration. Not just one or two. Not to explain some nuances. It’s deny, deny, deny. Full stop.

2. Or, to attack the questioner, whether my motives, my religion (or lack thereof), or any other aspect about me or my personality.

But I’m not offended in the slightest.

Because I understand these knee-jerk reactions.

After all, when we’ve never examined the fundamental reasons why we do things, every question seems like an affront to our morality. Every fact presented to us declares war on the false narratives we’ve concocted about who we are.

And every alternative viewpoint we consider is an admission that we might actually be wrong.

This, therefore, creates cognitive dissonance. And to alleviate the discomfort, we:

• Dig further into our beliefs, despite mountains of invalidating evidence.

• Constantly seek a scapegoat; someone or something to blame for our problems. Immigrants, gays, the media, reproductive rights, books, public education, other political parties … the possibilities are endless.

• Then, we slowly and methodically dehumanize the “others” that fall under any of these umbrellas.

And once dehumanized, we believe these “others” deserve whatever’s coming to them.

We Have Our Feet on a Very Unmindful Slope

For example, in my recent discussions about political morality with religious conservatives, I’ve had otherwise conscientious, law-abiding people—those who wouldn’t hesitate to give someone the shirts off their backs—justify (or at the very least, minimize):

• Sexual assault/rape

• Deporting residents (including American citizens) without due process

• Imprisoning political opponents

• Denying basic human rights to (even lawfully murdering members of) the LGBTQ community

• Dismantling all social services, including those for the elderly, children, and the disabled

• Openly manipulating financial markets to enrich the few

• Bottoming-out taxes for people who are wealthy enough to end this country’s hunger problem, but who choose to contribute nothing

Sure, talk is cheap.

But these same Americans, who frequently bemoan the rule of law when it comes to immigration, also wholly gloss over the hundreds of laws this administration stomps on literally every day.

They wax poetic about how this is the land of opportunity while willingly handing over their rights, and their money, to billionaires, while also voting to prevent others from accessing the same opportunities they enjoyed.

They gnash their teeth against “big government” while appealing to the very same legislative bodies to enact laws that protect them from all the people they label as ‘bad.’

But how do these mental gymnastics work? How does half of America hold so many diametrically opposed views—those that cannot be true at the same time?

Because we’ve been increasingly conditioned over years to examine evidence poorly.

What Happens When We Bend Reality to Meet Our Whims

“Anyone who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” — Voltaire

Back in 2017, when responding to questions about Sean Spicer’s lies regarding the crowd size at Trump’s inauguration, Kellyanne Conway entered the phrase “alternative facts” into the American lexicon.

Compared to what this administration’s done in the ensuing years, that event almost seems quaint. However, in retrospect, it publicly signaled to Americans that verifiable mistruths were equally as valid as reality-based facts. You just had to turn your head and squint.

And the proof of its efficacy is in the pudding, as they say.

Over the years, we can see that the former President’s initial shortcomings around his crowd size have ballooned into Presidential Denial™, misdirection, and revisionism around just about everything he touches, including:

• 2020 election results

• Inciting an insurrection

• Impeachment

• Felonies

• Rape/sexual assault

• The media’s truthfulness

And we’ve now arrived at a point where all of his lies—even if they fly in the face of objective, verifiable reality—will be swallowed whole, and justified as moral, by nearly 50% of Americans.

Clearly, his assault on reality and the discernment of morality have been resounding successes. And our country will continue paying the price for decades.

My Prayer: May We Return to Ourselves

We’re all human.

Therefore, each of us is guilty of allowing our emotions to override our logical capabilities, cloud our better judgment, and make decisions that fly in the face of our—and others’—best interests.

But, my fellow Americans, please allow me to be your urgent bell of mindfulness: Morality isn’t a conditional, abstract idea; it’s a tangible action that applies to everyone, all the time.

And there is a massive disconnect between what many of you claim is moral, the fundamental tenets by which you live your life, and the actions you’re allowing this administration to take against people who just want the same basic stuff as you: safety, love, compassion, and sense of purpose.

I can assure you, my beautiful friend, that those aren’t alternative facts.

But I get it: the unknown is scary. Peering into your soul is terrifying, especially the parts that make you want to run in the opposite direction. And learning from your emotions is uncomfortable on a whole different level.

Maybe you know all of this already.

However, your vote doesn’t reflect someone who’s done the work. Someone who’s rested inward, instead of lashing outward.

And the rest of the world agrees, for all of our sakes: it’s time for you to dig in.