I can really feel the space these ideas create in my body. I love the paradox here— it feels like on the one hand, self-compassion doesn’t “do” anything. It’s not trying to fix or change us in any way. And yet the irony is that it actually does a lot. And in the end… it does change us.
I resonate with all of these, Derek. Especially the bullshit detector going off when I first started trying to be more self-compassionate haha. I think you captured that feeling really well with your bullet points. It's like we need self-compassion about how we're struggling to have self-compassion, but of course, we're struggling to have self-compassion. All of the small victories do really add up when it comes to helping the ego step aside.
Thanks so much, Alex! That bullshit detector is in place to help protect us, but it can also be the biggest roadblock to accepting our own compassion. We just have to cringe our way through it lol. Small efforts, repeated daily.
I suspect it has something to do with building trust with ourselves as the bullshit detector loses steam. We start to trust that we actually mean what we’re saying
I really appreciate how you laid out your argument and the way you highlighted the common misunderstandings around compassion. One of the tricky parts is when we try to look in the mirror and say, “I love you,” but it doesn’t resonate, especially when we’re dealing with low self-esteem. It can feel daunting to embrace that kind of language when we're struggling. For me, compassion is all about being present with our feelings. Not everyone feels at ease with their emotions, especially the tougher ones, and that's okay—it's something we can nurture over time. As you pointed out, sometimes our own defenses can lead us to self-sabotage.
So, how do we get comfortable with our feelings? I've found that it really takes practice. Therapy and somatic experiences have opened up a whole new world for me when it comes to emotions. Sometimes, we just need a little help from others to explore our emotional landscape.
Somatic experiencing involves paying close attention to our bodily sensations as they change from moment to moment. It's a journey of understanding that emotions come and go. Being present with ourselves, especially during tough emotional moments, can be really challenging. It definitely takes a lot of gentleness, tenderness, and patience.
I’ve realized that compassion means gently embracing whatever feelings come my way instead of pushing them aside or judging them. I try not to let my inner critic take over, especially when I’m facing sadness, anger, or grief—those heavier feelings can be tough! Being curious and patient with my emotions, and approaching them with loving-kindness, is such an important part of this process.
As I've learned to extend compassion and forgiveness to myself, I've found it easier to offer those same qualities to others.
In our recovery journey, I think it's not just about feeling better, but really getting better at feeling.
Moving towards understanding what I've held back has truly helped me heal.
Thanks so much, Anna! Isn't it odd how we have to practice being nice to ourselves? It's the least natural-feeling action for some reason. Congratulations on how far you've come. "I think it's not just about feeling better, but really getting better at feeling." - Spot on! Beautifully worded and I agree 100%.
I can really feel the space these ideas create in my body. I love the paradox here— it feels like on the one hand, self-compassion doesn’t “do” anything. It’s not trying to fix or change us in any way. And yet the irony is that it actually does a lot. And in the end… it does change us.
That's so beautifully worded, Allysha! I couldn't have said it better myself.
I love a good paradox!
I resonate with all of these, Derek. Especially the bullshit detector going off when I first started trying to be more self-compassionate haha. I think you captured that feeling really well with your bullet points. It's like we need self-compassion about how we're struggling to have self-compassion, but of course, we're struggling to have self-compassion. All of the small victories do really add up when it comes to helping the ego step aside.
Thanks so much, Alex! That bullshit detector is in place to help protect us, but it can also be the biggest roadblock to accepting our own compassion. We just have to cringe our way through it lol. Small efforts, repeated daily.
I suspect it has something to do with building trust with ourselves as the bullshit detector loses steam. We start to trust that we actually mean what we’re saying
Hi Derek,
I really appreciate how you laid out your argument and the way you highlighted the common misunderstandings around compassion. One of the tricky parts is when we try to look in the mirror and say, “I love you,” but it doesn’t resonate, especially when we’re dealing with low self-esteem. It can feel daunting to embrace that kind of language when we're struggling. For me, compassion is all about being present with our feelings. Not everyone feels at ease with their emotions, especially the tougher ones, and that's okay—it's something we can nurture over time. As you pointed out, sometimes our own defenses can lead us to self-sabotage.
So, how do we get comfortable with our feelings? I've found that it really takes practice. Therapy and somatic experiences have opened up a whole new world for me when it comes to emotions. Sometimes, we just need a little help from others to explore our emotional landscape.
Somatic experiencing involves paying close attention to our bodily sensations as they change from moment to moment. It's a journey of understanding that emotions come and go. Being present with ourselves, especially during tough emotional moments, can be really challenging. It definitely takes a lot of gentleness, tenderness, and patience.
I’ve realized that compassion means gently embracing whatever feelings come my way instead of pushing them aside or judging them. I try not to let my inner critic take over, especially when I’m facing sadness, anger, or grief—those heavier feelings can be tough! Being curious and patient with my emotions, and approaching them with loving-kindness, is such an important part of this process.
As I've learned to extend compassion and forgiveness to myself, I've found it easier to offer those same qualities to others.
In our recovery journey, I think it's not just about feeling better, but really getting better at feeling.
Moving towards understanding what I've held back has truly helped me heal.
Thanks so much, Anna! Isn't it odd how we have to practice being nice to ourselves? It's the least natural-feeling action for some reason. Congratulations on how far you've come. "I think it's not just about feeling better, but really getting better at feeling." - Spot on! Beautifully worded and I agree 100%.
Spiritual Alchemy.. Working at it’s best. Without the ego, the soul becomes lost in direction.
Compash is about others yo
Yes! It’s for everyone.