Why Your Assumptions Are So Destructive

Especially when you're ready to grow and improve

Do you believe something is true about yourself, even without enough evidence?

For example, “I’ve worked hard to build my mindfulness practice. But I usually fail at big goals, so I’ll probably fail at this, too.”

That’s called assuming.

And as Don Miguel Ruiz writes in The Four Agreements:

“All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.”

But what’s so damaging about assumptions? Aren’t they just harmless little thought patterns?

The Destructive Nature of Assuming

Assumptions help your brain simplify a complex world. However, they can also lead you down a destructive path without realizing it.

This is because unconscious assumptions shape how you perceive incoming information, without your explicit consent.

As a result, these assumption-based beliefs bypass your conscious critical thinking skills, and you don’t gather facts, verify their accuracy, or consider alternative explanations.

The process looks something like this:

Furthermore, once you assume, you seek out confirming evidence that supports your assumption while ignoring any evidence that invalidates it. This cognitive bias creates a closed feedback loop where your assumption remains unchallenged, and its impact on your life only grows.

In this way, assumptions can damage:

• Close relationships – Presuming someone’s intentions or emotions without checking with them causes unnecessary friction.

• Workplace dynamics – Assumptions about others can lead to discrimination and missed opportunities.

• Societal equity – Assumptions about different groups fuel prejudice and systemic inequalities.

Even if we were to look past these negatives, though, making assumptions about yourself (e.g., “I’m not good at XYZ,” or “Things always end up poorly”) can drastically limit your potential and create self-fulfilling prophecies.

For example, assuming that you already know the outcome of a scenario can prevent you from taking risks or pursuing opportunities that could lead to personal growth and success.

What’s more, The Universe always reflects the energy you project. Therefore, if you tell yourself that things always end up a certain way, you can bet your ass that's how they'll turn out.

This energetic resonance means your assumptions not only shape your perception of reality, but they also help create your reality. In this way, your mindset can either empower or sabotage your journey.

How can you break free from self-limiting assumptions?

How to Break the Assumption Cycle

The goal isn't to stop your thinking or to control your thoughts in any way. Instead, the point is to catch yourself mid-thought.

For example, imagine that you anticipate failing at a new task because you believe that is what’s always happened: “I really want to succeed at this, but I’m not going to because I’m just no good, which has been proven time and time again.”

Instead of stopping there and proceeding as if it’s inevitable, divide the sentence into two parts and focus on what follows the word "but." Whatever belief you find there, it’s likely something you've clung to for years, perhaps even decades.

Then, once you’ve isolated your disconfirming assumption, the next step is to self-correct: "I really want to succeed at this, and I have unique strengths I can bring to this challenge. Each time I try, I learn valuable lessons. I choose curiosity over self-judgment."

The more you practice this self-correction, the less frequently you'll find yourself venturing down negative paths to begin with.

However, while this process is simple, it’s not always easy. Make sure to remain gentle with yourself.

Each time you catch yourself locking onto negative assumptions, approach the situation gracefully and compassionately. Remind yourself that the more often you practice self-correcting your assumptions, the closer you move toward alignment with your true potential.

And that’s ultimately what life is all about.

Reclaiming Your Power: From Assumption to Authenticity

The Universe isn’t conspiring against you.

Instead, it’s simply an audience responding to whatever you put in front of it.

Shifting your perspective in this way immediately transforms your assumptions from “This is happening to me” to “This is happening for me.” The former closes doors while the latter blasts them wide open.

But this process takes conscious effort since you’re undoing years—or decades—of reinforced agreements about yourself that you never consciously agreed to.

However, by consistently reframing them when they appear, releasing your assumptions while maintaining a positive focus will become second nature.

The bottom line is that you have the ability to shape your reality. However, you’ve never given yourself credit before.

Now, though, it’s time to consciously reclaim your “perspective power” and harness it to transform your assumptions from cages into wings.

And your experiences will reinforce what you’ve known all along: You simply needed to pause and remember that your assumptions aren’t reality.