19 Comments
User's avatar
Tashiana The Sun Goddess's avatar

This was a great post—I’ve never examined the nature of assumptions this way and this was so interesting and educational. 💚

Expand full comment
Derek Lakin's avatar

Thank you, Tashiana! I'm so glad it resonates. 🙏

Expand full comment
Susan Shier's avatar

One of my biggest lessons was learning how many assumptions I was making. Only to be disappointed time and time again. I like your infographic for the assumption process - it helps to identify how we keep feeding the same patterns until we can find a way to disrupt our assumptions.

Expand full comment
Derek Lakin's avatar

I very much align, Susan! These assumptions are so ingrained in the "agreements" we've made with ourselves that they're woven into our very fabric, and therefore, unrecognizable. I've found so much utility in the "but" practice, because it provides an X on the map where I can say, "That right there an assumption I need to redefine." Thanks so much for sharing. 🙏

Expand full comment
Teodora Miscov's avatar

A great reminder. I am also a fan of Ruiz but I never get sick of hearing adjacent teachings! Thank you for writing & sharing. :)

Expand full comment
Derek Lakin's avatar

Thanks so much, Teodora! What's been your most impactful teaching of Ruiz's?

Expand full comment
Teodora Miscov's avatar

Oh lord! 🤣 Big question… But definitely ‘Don’t take anything personally’ from the four agreements. And for you?

Expand full comment
Derek Lakin's avatar

Same! Don't make assumptions was a big "baboom" for me.

Expand full comment
Sam William's avatar

Haven't seen such an in-depth piece about assumptions before. This one hit home.

The part about stopping yourself mid-thought and redirecting your thinking is gold. But its definitely easier said than done. The challenge, i find, is noticing when i'm assuming vs. when i'm seeing the world accurately. It is tricky to see because to assume means to mistake thought for a fact without realizing it.

Expand full comment
Derek Lakin's avatar

Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, Samuel! Were you able to catch the "but" in your reply? There's the deeply-held assumption. 🙏❤️

Expand full comment
Sam William's avatar

Haha no I wasn't. Good call. 😁 But are you really saying stopping yourself mid-thought and noticing your assumptions is easy? I've been meditating for 9 years, done many meditation retreats and still fall into the trap all the time.

Expand full comment
Derek Lakin's avatar

Great question. As you've probably learned throughout your 9-year awareness journey (congratulations BTW!), forming mindful habits is simple, not easy. It definitely takes conscious, repeated effort over time. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fail, and we always bring our awareness back home, again and again. That's why it's called our 'practice' and not our 'perfection.'

Therefore, once we notice that we believe the impossibility of never falling into the 'trap' of these thoughts again, then we are no longer practicing the middle path. We are once again creating our own suffering, which is yet another signal for us to step back and analyze our assumptions. What do you think?

Expand full comment
Rea de Miranda's avatar

Great post Derek! We hamper our own progress when we assume the outcome.

Expand full comment
Derek Lakin's avatar

Thank you so much, Rea! We all have a nasty habit of relinquishing control of our potential, and assuming there is no other truth. The goal is to simply remain aware of when we do it, and then compassionately course correct. 🙏🏼

Expand full comment
John Rinaldo's avatar

This was powerful, Derek. You captured something most people miss — how easily assumptions creep in and quietly shape our lives. I appreciate the way you broke it down with honesty and hope. A real reminder that the hardest battle is often the one we don’t even realize we’re fighting.

Expand full comment
Derek Lakin's avatar

Thank you, John! I deeply appreciate your kind words.

Expand full comment
David Deane Haskell's avatar

This is gold right here. I'm in a process of working to drop those kinds of assumptions wherever they crop up.

Expand full comment
Derek Lakin's avatar

Beautiful, thank you, David! Are you making good progress?

Expand full comment
David Deane Haskell's avatar

Yes and no. Feels like whack-a-mole, they just keep a poppin up. 😂

Expand full comment