13 Comments
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Jaime Tanna's avatar

Beautiful and timely post that will serve many souls who are facing grief, and wish to embrace it, and transform through it. Namaste brother.

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Derek Lakin's avatar

Thank you so much, Jaime! 🙏

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Kate Clark's avatar

Grief is unfathomable but can be transformative. I think in the western world, or in my little corner of it anyway we have lost many of the customs and rituals that help people move through these emotions. I have experienced two major deaths in my life - both incredibly different in nature - each having different consequences. I spent years navigating the first. With no map.

But without recounting the story here (it's really quite long) it has opened me up, folded me out and sent me down the most beautiful journey. I now hold that experience as a blessing. But that is over 15 years travelled. And there were many mishaps and misadventures along the way.

It's so important to have people a long the way that can hold and guide and witness that pain - and then that teaches you how to do that for yourself.

Bravo for sharing your grief. The unknowing you felt. The humility it caused.

And so nice to see people drawing maps for others.

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Derek Lakin's avatar

Wow, thank you, Kate. Beautifully said. We must lean into grief's fire and let it burn away our clinging to our old selves, and patiently await our new selves to step forward.

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KimberlyAnne Sullivan's avatar

This technique (ACT) is one that I recently read an article in which it was referenced, but the article was about another, related topic, and even though I made a mental notation to "look into this ACT business" (bc I initially thought it would be at least somewhat helpful) ...this article was my next time engaging w/ it, and I want to say an enormous "THANK YOU!!" for posting this-from the personal, vulnerable, real-life parallel to what you've been through, to your very succinct and easy to comprehend explanation of the technique itself, to the guided meditation that is everything needed (with no added fillers!)And just the right length of time to make a meaning difference without driving me mad trying to meditate "perfectly"-you did an amazing job with the entire thing!! Kudos!

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Derek Lakin's avatar

Wow, I deeply appreciate your kind words, KimberlyAnne, and that the techniques resonated with you! Leaning into our emotions is such a powerful life skill to hone.

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Subramani Aatreya's avatar

The meditation practice was good. I couldn't do it now, but am planning to do later.

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Derek Lakin's avatar

Thanks so much, Subramani! Please return and let us know how it goes.

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Jimmy Warden's avatar

When we look back, we recognize we've been strong enough to weather the storms of life.

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Gunther Hammel's avatar

That sounds like a lot all at once.

I’m glad that you’ve come through onto the other side in a more radiant form. 🤜💥🤛

If we only try to let in good feelings, we skip out on experiencing a whole half of life. Any problem is doable when broken down into smaller chunks. 🫶

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Derek Lakin's avatar

Thank you, Gunther! May we hold space for all of it.

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Andrea Stoeckel's avatar

Been there done that-25 year relationship (23 married) to a narcissist. She kicked me out. 4 1/2 months statistically homeless. Served divorce papers 1weej after I moved here. Had a small fling that ended abruptly. Divorce finalized two weeks ago. Now finishing up unpacking and getting in with life. Therapy helps

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Derek Lakin's avatar

I'm so sorry you've been through this, Andrea. Therapy definitely helps us move through the grief, as long as we have the courage to stop running and face it. Onward and upward.

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