Thank you for this Derek. I just "found you" on Substack. I honour you for taking on studies like this in your fourth decade. I think perhaps one of the differences between you and your much younger classmates, is that many of them may not have yet reached the wisdom to say..."I fully recognize my mountainous ignorance about the human psyche". All the best Derek.
Derek, you stated: [people often say] “If only [politician, place, scenario, emotion, thing, etc.] were different, THEN I’d be happy” followed by:
However, by externalizing the cause of (and solution to) your suffering, you give it tremendous power. You surrender complete control over your present and future emotional states.
—————————-
This ^ is the crux of the issue. Most people have relinquished their power or their will. They don’t feel they have the capacity to change or they have simply given up. It’s easier to focus on the ‘other’ — whether that be a friend, family member, a boss or guru or politician or Jesus, for that matter. I don’t have problem with people of faith or the faithful, necessarily. We often can be inspired or moved to greatness by charismatic figures. Yet, the capacity to be brainwashed or conditioned to believe in lies and falsehoods that serve the need of the cult leader supersedes any individual will or capacity for free thinking. We need to have faith in ourselves and each other — in our communities, in our resilient capacities through leveraging resources. We need to glorify the everyday heroes in our communities such as firefighters, nurses, doctors, police officers, social workers, teachers, farmers — people that hold the glue of our society together.
I will also add that intolerance (on both sides) is what led us to this juncture. If we don’t start building bridges, if we don’t work on resolving intergenerational trauma and conflict, we’re not going to survive as a species. So, while faith and optimism have their place, so does shared responsibility, ethical consideration, compassion and understanding about how power operates in a world where women and children are easily exploited. Michael Brown in the Presence Process stated, “There are no safe women in this world. There are pursued creatures.” If you haven’t lived in this world as a woman, it’s hard to grasp what that means. The reelection of Trump makes this quote even more resonant today.
‘Happiness’ is an elusive and almost nonsense concept that is derived from social conditioning. Healthy and thriving might be better goals to strive for. What that might mean for individuals may require some self reflection. Mass consumption isn’t sustainable. The next four years will be difficult as we now have a government hostile to environment concerns.
It’s a fine balance act. A conscious act to remain balanced, magnanimous and grounded while at the same time not to become too navel gazing or self absorbed (which I think is the shadow side of mindfulness). We need to focus on our own self regulation and take responsibility for our own life and we need to consider the fact that we live in community with others who experience suffering — many of whom are more vulnerable than ourselves. ‘It takes a village’ still applies, as I see it.
Beautifully rendered, Anna. As a cis white male, there are many lenses through which my privilege doesn't grant a worldview. And based on this limited perspective, my knee-jerk reaction is to assign a large chunk of blame to my demographic - at least those scared of a swiftly-changing nation - for the results of this election.
However, while I could play armchair quarterback all day, the numbers reveal a different picture. Trump won the popular vote by 2.5 points, which isn't huge by any means, but it is explicit. A significant contributor could be that he had some huge turnouts across several minority demographics, including Hispanic/Latino (42%!! voted for him), young people 18-29 (46%), and women (47%).
So, I have to step back and ask myself, "What am I not seeing that the majority of Americans are?”—even among demographics that will be some of the most heavily impacted by his forthcoming policies?
I enjoy Pod Save America's clear-eyed breakdowns, and while there are tons of nitpicky counterarguments, they essentially outline the case that Democrats were destined to lose; there simply wasn't enough time to mount an effective campaign for Kamala.
With that said, old-guard regimes are also falling globally, and politics have been leaning increasingly authoritarian. Citizens all over the world are fed up with how things have been handled politically, especially since the pandemic, while they’re also being squeezed financially from all sides because of inflation. In poll after poll, the economy was the #1 issue for voters this election, and Trump hammered it home time and time again. Essentially, the only thing Democrats responded with was scolding, “Can’t you see this is one of the greatest economies ever?”
Apparently not. Therefore, it seems most Americans—including many that Trump is hostile to—are willing to put their pocketbooks above his many, many faults. And among my mostly conservative friends, they don’t see his upcoming policies and promises as fascism. Or at the very least, fascist-leaning.
All in all, this is an ideal time for me to practice what I preach: to walk the middle path.
However, that doesn’t mean complacency, not standing up for what's right, or not using my privilege to support at-risk populations. Instead, it’s recognizing that I can harness my dissatisfaction (let’s call it what it is: deep anger) as fuel for action, while also refraining from hanging that anger on a politician, stomping my feet, and repeating, “They’re the reason.”
The American citizens have spoken. May we support one another and remain centered throughout the upcoming shitstorm. And use its lessons to ensure it doesn’t repeat.
Derek — Thank you for your thoughtfulness. My response to your work comes from a place of deep disillusionment and sadness over recent political events including the election. I think my response was a little unfair to you as I was expressing some feelings that had been building inside me after a few days spending time on Substack. Politics was wearing me down and bringing me down.
I like what you said: “Instead, it’s recognizing that I can harness my dissatisfaction (let’s call it what it is: deep anger) as fuel for action, while also refraining from hanging that anger on a politician, stomping my feet, and repeating, “They’re the reason.”
That resonates. I agree. Some times I have difficulty acknowledging DEEP ANGER or finding ways to channel it because we’re taught to suppress negative feeling states. Under the anger is sadness, disappointment, disillusionment and loss which is part of what I named before. As a ‘fuel for action’ is a good way to express it. That’s what would probably help me move through it as I move through the next chapter of my life.
I also appreciate what you said about ‘walking the middle path’ which I think is probably connected to equanimity. I am challenged by both concepts and I believe that it’s a worthy purpose. I’m attempting to do that politically, psychologically and spiritually. It’s an alignment that’s difficult to achieve as it’s so easy to be thrown off balance or distracted by that which does not align with one’s values or sense of meaning or purpose.
My initial response to your article was reflective of an ability I am feeling try to reconcile a lot of Substack messaging that does not align with my internal state. But it’s not so much about the messenger, it’s how I *feel* internally when I’m continually exposing to upbeat and positive memes or words that I understand (rationally) but don’t resonate emotionally. What’s bad about positive messaging? What’s wrong with a 😊 or a ❤️ or a 🙌? We’re better supporting each other and staying positive than tearing each other down. So my issues with ‘love and light’ narratives are my issues which I will eventually find a way to navigate on a personal level. It’s also something I’m considering in terms of future writing. How do I want to show up in the world?
I’m having difficulty reconciling ‘love and light’ and positive, healthy messaging (which I feel is ultimately the best way to orient oneself in the world) with the pain I *feel* internally because I *know* that the outcome of the election *will* have real life negative consequences for many. That’s anticipatory anxiety which I feel I’ll need to learn to work with or integrate. I think I’m going to develop some tapping scripts. That might help.
You actually helping me work through my anxieties as I write this response.
I’ve been thinking about what Michael Brown (author of The Presence Process) talks about — ‘felt sense perception’ — when you feel the pain and suffering of others, it’s difficult to turn away — even though, ‘instinctually’ that’s what we want to do. Perhaps, it reminds me a little of the writing you did about the homeless that was turned away from the hotel. How often do I turn away or look the other way when I could do something to make someone else’s life a little easier? There’s a Pink Floyd song that I like, “On the Turning Away” which I find very moving because it speaks to not only the despair that is experienced by many but also hopefulness and the possibility of collectively making a difference.
I wrote a few paragraphs regarding politics and the election. I decided to delete them as it look at politics in similar ways. I’m sure there are some areas of divergence, but I don’t think it’s worth discussing unless you enjoy political debates. ;) Just so I’m clear, I hope you didn’t feel a need to frame your response as a cis male. Just for the record, I’m not entirely politically correct — although I try to respect others and the way they want to show up the world. I wish for people to be honored and treated as human beings worthy of love and respect.
I’ll check out Pod Save America’s podcast. Thanks for the suggestion.
Thank you for this Derek. I just "found you" on Substack. I honour you for taking on studies like this in your fourth decade. I think perhaps one of the differences between you and your much younger classmates, is that many of them may not have yet reached the wisdom to say..."I fully recognize my mountainous ignorance about the human psyche". All the best Derek.
Thank you, Ian! Grateful to connect.
Derek, you stated: [people often say] “If only [politician, place, scenario, emotion, thing, etc.] were different, THEN I’d be happy” followed by:
However, by externalizing the cause of (and solution to) your suffering, you give it tremendous power. You surrender complete control over your present and future emotional states.
—————————-
This ^ is the crux of the issue. Most people have relinquished their power or their will. They don’t feel they have the capacity to change or they have simply given up. It’s easier to focus on the ‘other’ — whether that be a friend, family member, a boss or guru or politician or Jesus, for that matter. I don’t have problem with people of faith or the faithful, necessarily. We often can be inspired or moved to greatness by charismatic figures. Yet, the capacity to be brainwashed or conditioned to believe in lies and falsehoods that serve the need of the cult leader supersedes any individual will or capacity for free thinking. We need to have faith in ourselves and each other — in our communities, in our resilient capacities through leveraging resources. We need to glorify the everyday heroes in our communities such as firefighters, nurses, doctors, police officers, social workers, teachers, farmers — people that hold the glue of our society together.
I will also add that intolerance (on both sides) is what led us to this juncture. If we don’t start building bridges, if we don’t work on resolving intergenerational trauma and conflict, we’re not going to survive as a species. So, while faith and optimism have their place, so does shared responsibility, ethical consideration, compassion and understanding about how power operates in a world where women and children are easily exploited. Michael Brown in the Presence Process stated, “There are no safe women in this world. There are pursued creatures.” If you haven’t lived in this world as a woman, it’s hard to grasp what that means. The reelection of Trump makes this quote even more resonant today.
‘Happiness’ is an elusive and almost nonsense concept that is derived from social conditioning. Healthy and thriving might be better goals to strive for. What that might mean for individuals may require some self reflection. Mass consumption isn’t sustainable. The next four years will be difficult as we now have a government hostile to environment concerns.
It’s a fine balance act. A conscious act to remain balanced, magnanimous and grounded while at the same time not to become too navel gazing or self absorbed (which I think is the shadow side of mindfulness). We need to focus on our own self regulation and take responsibility for our own life and we need to consider the fact that we live in community with others who experience suffering — many of whom are more vulnerable than ourselves. ‘It takes a village’ still applies, as I see it.
Beautifully rendered, Anna. As a cis white male, there are many lenses through which my privilege doesn't grant a worldview. And based on this limited perspective, my knee-jerk reaction is to assign a large chunk of blame to my demographic - at least those scared of a swiftly-changing nation - for the results of this election.
However, while I could play armchair quarterback all day, the numbers reveal a different picture. Trump won the popular vote by 2.5 points, which isn't huge by any means, but it is explicit. A significant contributor could be that he had some huge turnouts across several minority demographics, including Hispanic/Latino (42%!! voted for him), young people 18-29 (46%), and women (47%).
So, I have to step back and ask myself, "What am I not seeing that the majority of Americans are?”—even among demographics that will be some of the most heavily impacted by his forthcoming policies?
I enjoy Pod Save America's clear-eyed breakdowns, and while there are tons of nitpicky counterarguments, they essentially outline the case that Democrats were destined to lose; there simply wasn't enough time to mount an effective campaign for Kamala.
With that said, old-guard regimes are also falling globally, and politics have been leaning increasingly authoritarian. Citizens all over the world are fed up with how things have been handled politically, especially since the pandemic, while they’re also being squeezed financially from all sides because of inflation. In poll after poll, the economy was the #1 issue for voters this election, and Trump hammered it home time and time again. Essentially, the only thing Democrats responded with was scolding, “Can’t you see this is one of the greatest economies ever?”
Apparently not. Therefore, it seems most Americans—including many that Trump is hostile to—are willing to put their pocketbooks above his many, many faults. And among my mostly conservative friends, they don’t see his upcoming policies and promises as fascism. Or at the very least, fascist-leaning.
All in all, this is an ideal time for me to practice what I preach: to walk the middle path.
However, that doesn’t mean complacency, not standing up for what's right, or not using my privilege to support at-risk populations. Instead, it’s recognizing that I can harness my dissatisfaction (let’s call it what it is: deep anger) as fuel for action, while also refraining from hanging that anger on a politician, stomping my feet, and repeating, “They’re the reason.”
The American citizens have spoken. May we support one another and remain centered throughout the upcoming shitstorm. And use its lessons to ensure it doesn’t repeat.
Derek — Thank you for your thoughtfulness. My response to your work comes from a place of deep disillusionment and sadness over recent political events including the election. I think my response was a little unfair to you as I was expressing some feelings that had been building inside me after a few days spending time on Substack. Politics was wearing me down and bringing me down.
I like what you said: “Instead, it’s recognizing that I can harness my dissatisfaction (let’s call it what it is: deep anger) as fuel for action, while also refraining from hanging that anger on a politician, stomping my feet, and repeating, “They’re the reason.”
That resonates. I agree. Some times I have difficulty acknowledging DEEP ANGER or finding ways to channel it because we’re taught to suppress negative feeling states. Under the anger is sadness, disappointment, disillusionment and loss which is part of what I named before. As a ‘fuel for action’ is a good way to express it. That’s what would probably help me move through it as I move through the next chapter of my life.
I also appreciate what you said about ‘walking the middle path’ which I think is probably connected to equanimity. I am challenged by both concepts and I believe that it’s a worthy purpose. I’m attempting to do that politically, psychologically and spiritually. It’s an alignment that’s difficult to achieve as it’s so easy to be thrown off balance or distracted by that which does not align with one’s values or sense of meaning or purpose.
My initial response to your article was reflective of an ability I am feeling try to reconcile a lot of Substack messaging that does not align with my internal state. But it’s not so much about the messenger, it’s how I *feel* internally when I’m continually exposing to upbeat and positive memes or words that I understand (rationally) but don’t resonate emotionally. What’s bad about positive messaging? What’s wrong with a 😊 or a ❤️ or a 🙌? We’re better supporting each other and staying positive than tearing each other down. So my issues with ‘love and light’ narratives are my issues which I will eventually find a way to navigate on a personal level. It’s also something I’m considering in terms of future writing. How do I want to show up in the world?
I’m having difficulty reconciling ‘love and light’ and positive, healthy messaging (which I feel is ultimately the best way to orient oneself in the world) with the pain I *feel* internally because I *know* that the outcome of the election *will* have real life negative consequences for many. That’s anticipatory anxiety which I feel I’ll need to learn to work with or integrate. I think I’m going to develop some tapping scripts. That might help.
You actually helping me work through my anxieties as I write this response.
I’ve been thinking about what Michael Brown (author of The Presence Process) talks about — ‘felt sense perception’ — when you feel the pain and suffering of others, it’s difficult to turn away — even though, ‘instinctually’ that’s what we want to do. Perhaps, it reminds me a little of the writing you did about the homeless that was turned away from the hotel. How often do I turn away or look the other way when I could do something to make someone else’s life a little easier? There’s a Pink Floyd song that I like, “On the Turning Away” which I find very moving because it speaks to not only the despair that is experienced by many but also hopefulness and the possibility of collectively making a difference.
I wrote a few paragraphs regarding politics and the election. I decided to delete them as it look at politics in similar ways. I’m sure there are some areas of divergence, but I don’t think it’s worth discussing unless you enjoy political debates. ;) Just so I’m clear, I hope you didn’t feel a need to frame your response as a cis male. Just for the record, I’m not entirely politically correct — although I try to respect others and the way they want to show up the world. I wish for people to be honored and treated as human beings worthy of love and respect.
I’ll check out Pod Save America’s podcast. Thanks for the suggestion.
Thanks so much, Ryan! That's a great quote, and summarizes our predicament perfectly. Please keep up your outstanding work as well!
Just to let you know, Derek. I just revised response again! Don’t like it yet! 😂